Middle of the night calls

It's been a while since I've posted, but November was quite possibly the busiest month ever. Here are some funny calls I got in the middle of the night this month:

"Doctor, Mr. So-and-so is refusing to take his Lipitor."
"Why is that?"
"Well, he says that it makes him impotent."
"So tell me how exactly that will be a problem for him while he's in the hospital working up and rehabbing from his major stroke? I guess if our stroke patients are trying to do that in the hospital, it's a good sign in some ways, but..."
"Yeah, I guess I'll go tell him to just take his Lipitor for now."

"Doctor, this patient is on an insulin drip at 30cc/hr, but his sugar is still 252. Should I give him regular insulin from his sliding scale or go up on his insulin rate?"
--Now on the surface, that seems like a good question. However...
"Well actually the patient is on a D10 drip at 30cc/hr, so you should do neither of those..."
"Oh, but I thought D10 IS insulin."
"Actually, no, it's quite the opposite. The D in D10 stands for dextrose, which is sugar. Thus, since he's getting sugar pumped into his veins, and his blood sugar is high, then the solution would be to turn down the rate that the sugar is going in."
"Wait, but I asked another nurse too, and she said that D10 is insulin."
[sigh] "Just turn whatever he's getting down to 15cc/hr, and I'll come take a look at it."